Mothers, It’s Time to Be Still

By Mavian Arocha-Rowe

In my previous article, I mentioned the need to be vulnerable in order to move toward change, for a better you. And what better way to start this post than by following my own teaching? Vulnerability, here I come.

The role of an editor runs through my veins, which means being on time, or better yet early is part of my DNA. Sadly, this article is past my deadline, and it’s going against what’s second nature to me. However, a deep feeling inside reminds me that everything happens for a reason. Perhaps?

Aside from my immediate family, and my closest friends, you, a group of beautiful strangers are the first to learn that my husband and I are expecting our second child. My announcement isn’t meant to create the perfect theme for the ideal article during Mother’s Day week; instead, it’s the preamble to the main idea.

I am currently eight weeks pregnant and I am on bed rest. I will leave out the gruesome details, but in summary, my progesterone levels are at a six. Dr. Elizabeth Street, my new-found [loving] OB explained the normal levels must be between 20 and 25. What happens at a six? The placenta’s job of nourishing the early embryo is at risk.

You would think being in bed rest would grant me the time to finally get through my 528 unopened emails or as expected, I would have written my article for JustHaves, and turned it in on time. Nope… Instead, I became edgy [and not with an artistic mindset]. I became frustrated that my laptop’s heat was aggravating my muffin top; hence, not allowing me to focus on work. I became impatient because I couldn’t care for my 19-month-old Rio and needed more help than usual to just make it through the day.

Knowing I have been asked to not stress or get upset, as a way to cope during the day, tears became my constant visitors. While dizzy from the side effects of the progesterone pills, I received a text on Friday at 9:39 PM from my best friend suggesting, “Maybe this time of rest is meant for something else, too.” Confused, I messaged back: Huh? And she added, “Maybe this is a time to learn something… Don’t miss out on it. Try to enjoy it without feeling guilty. Surrender the control of having it all be normal because nothing is normal. Use this time to trust more and to thank more.”

In shock with the words I had just read, I knew I had to shift gears, and I knew I had to write the following to you: Be still. As moms and momprenuers our days are packed with thoughts of others. In fact, often it’s labeled as having a servant’s heart; it’s a gift though. But according to Dr. Johnny Hunt, this gift can be misused. For example, “neglecting home responsibilities to help others; inability to say no to others. Accepting too many jobs at one time; wearing themselves out physically; being too persistent in giving unrequested help to others; excluding others from helping on a job; and becoming hurt by the ungratefulness of those who were helped. Servers do not usually desire public recognition. However, they deeply desire sincere appreciation from the ones whom they serve.”

This Mother’s Day, we can expect the sincere appreciation we so desire from our loved ones (aka the ones we serve), or we can give ourselves the gift of reflection and thanksgiving. As I continue my bed rest, during the week of Mother’s Day, I am hoping for better news from Dr. Street, and I am choosing to gift myself intangible gifts that build a healthy mind and soul. I choose to be still. I choose to reflect on the goodness in my life. I acknowledge I don’t need a holiday to be thankful, so thanksgiving starts today.

Will you join me in this journey of just being different?